#16. We Accept the Love We Think We Deserve

by lizzcorrigan

“Don’t ever wonder because you deserve the best. Once you reach the top, you’ll never question why you left.” – John Legend

The 16th I’ve learned while being 20?

#16. We accept the love we think we deserve

I recently saw what has become my favorite movie, The Perks of Being a Wallflower.

It’s a beautiful story of a troubled boy who finds hope in a seamlessly hopeless world.

This last year I’ve spent days staring up at the sky, buried in the grass; happy.

I’ve also spent many days and nights staring into nothing, buried in my thoughts; lost.

As I speak for myself, I’m sure I speak for many; sometimes giving someone your everything doesn’t seem like enough. We ask ourselves, why hasn’t this been working? Or, why can’t I move on? We find ourselves in a vicious cycle of hurt and remorse.

Why do some stay in unhealthy relationships? Why do some reject those who love them? Why are some so lucky? Why, why. why.

The truth of it is simple: we truly do accept the love we think we deserve.

The way we are treated is dictated by ourselves, not others. If you don’t think you deserve to be treated the way you are, the only thing keeping you from walking away, is yourself. The real authority for change, is you.

We’re sad when we think we have the right to be sad. We’re angry when we think we have the right to be angry. So why don’t we love, when we think we have the right to be loved?

There are no hand-cuffs of silence, make up with person you haven’t spoken to in years over a silly fight. It’s ok to forgive, it’s ok to admit you were wrong- but it’s also ok to leave. Walk away from the emotional abuse of that relationship, and don’t settle because you don’t think you can do better.  We are imperfect beings, we are human. But our imperfections are neither reasons to stay, nor leave. We can always do better for others, and for ourselves; your choice is whether the trials pave a road worth traveling.

Allow those around you to love you, & love on those who surround you; don’t settle for less, & don’t cut yourself short- Because at the end of the day, the love we accept is the love we think we deserve.